


Conflicting Cuteness

by sardonyx164



Series: Operation Domiciliate (Discordant Opponents Must Ignore Conflict Lest Infinity Arranges Terrible Execution) [3]
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Habituation, Internal Conflict, Platonic Kissing, Playful teasing, Screenplay/Script Format, self-restraint, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24095974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164
Summary: Nigel tries to deal with his conflicting feelings for Chad.
Relationships: Nigel Uno & Chad Dickson
Series: Operation Domiciliate (Discordant Opponents Must Ignore Conflict Lest Infinity Arranges Terrible Execution) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730308
Kudos: 6
Collections: Operation Friend





	Conflicting Cuteness

**Author's Note:**

> Before this story begins, I'd like to share a sad headcanon of mine.
> 
> Now, in Operation Treaty, we see Nigel looking at a picture of him and Chad. You'd expect Nigel to just...angrily tear the picture apart, but he doesn't do that. He just...forlornly stares at the picture. He looks heartbroken. When his teammates arrive, Nigel is also shown to just drop that sad look (and/or put up a smile for them).
> 
> ...I bet Nigel still really misses Chad, and wants to be friends with him again. Chad was an important part of his life, and it's really difficult to just...forget about him. But every time the two interact, they start arguing.  
> It's like...Nigel is in some sort of inner conflict with himself. Does he want to get close to Chad? Or does he want to stay as far away from him as possible?  
> ...Nigel has no idea, and it's tearing him up inside.
> 
> ...Incidentally, this whole sad headcanon was what prompted me to write about these two in the first place.
> 
> (And also the Foe Yay page on TV Tropes, which describes Nigel and Chad's situation as "two exes being forced to work together after a bad break up", and how Chad doesn't help the matter at all when he uses the same nickname that Nigel's ex-girlfriend used ["I guess I'll let you slide this time, Nigie!"]).

_[Scene: the kitchen. Nigel is sitting at the table and eating nachos...or at least, he’s trying to. Instead, he finds himself playing with his food]_

**Nigel:** (Was Chad going to... _kiss_ me? No...no, he wasn’t. That’s a good thing, right? I’m not going to be infected with teen germs...but what’s with this fluttery feeling in my stomach...? Am I actually happy that Chad didn’t kiss me, or--)

 **Chad:** [bitterly] Hey, how’s it going?

_[Nigel jumps a bit and turns around to see that Chad has walked into the kitchen. Chad yawns as he looks through the fridge]_

**Chad:** Why’d you run off? I mean, I’m not complaining, but... I just want to know.

 **Nigel** : Didn’t I tell you? I was missing a cool program!

 **Chad:** [sitting across from Nigel] Eh...somehow, I don’t think that’s the reason. Tell me the _real_ reason.

 **Nigel:** [sighing] Fine. But I’m warning you...it’s embarrassing.

 **Chad:** [annoyed] Okay, so?

 **Nigel:** [slamming his palms on the table] So?! _So?!_ You almost kissed your _enemy_!

 **Chad:** [calmly sipping orange juice] Uh huh.

_[Nigel growls as he gets up and paces around]_

**Nigel:** Why, I feel like I’m in the middle of a huge mental battle! I mean...one part of me wants to stay as far away from you as possible because he’s worried that he’s going to get infected by your teen germs! [he stops pacing] But...

 **Chad:**...But?

 **Nigel:** [toeing at the floor bashfully] But...there’s another part of me that really _really_ wants that kiss. He knows that his foe was once his friend, and that friend always gave such nice kisses...[angrily pointing at Chad]...this is all your fault! Stop making me feel things!

 **Chad:** [taking another sip of orange juice] Sure, whatever.

 **Nigel:** You’re not even paying attention, are you?!

 **Chad:** Look, kid...I just woke up from a really good nap, and my good mood is turning sour _fast_ because I’m currently listening to _your_ whiny voice. I’m just...so done with you.

 **Nigel:** You’re worthless, Chad! [slumping against the wall] How I wish the solution to my problem would just...appear in front of me right this second...

_[As if on cue, a garish green/orange green light suddenly fills the room and fades just as quickly as it appeared. When the light fades, Nigel and Chad see that there are now five dark blue scarves sitting on the table]_

**Nigel:** [confused]...Well. That was convenient.

 **Chad:** [looking up at the ceiling] Uh, excuse me? Could you get me out of this place and away from this brat? [nothing happens] Figures...

 **Nigel:** [inspecting the scarves] Hmm, let’s see...how will these scarves...help...[his face lights up in realization] Wait, that’s it! Chad, I’ve found the solution to my problem! And I need your help!

 **Chad:** What do you want?

 **Nigel:** [excitedly holding up some scarves] You see these scarves?!

 **Chad** : [sighing out of exasperation] Yes. I see them, Uno.

 **Nigel:** Well, I want you to use these scarves to tie me to a chair... and then I want you to _kiss me_!

 **Chad:** [picking up the scarves and looking at them curiously] Sure. I’ll even cover your mouth so I don’t have to listen to you.

 **Nigel:** Don’t cover my mouth! I need to tell you something important first!

 **Chad:** [sighing again] Okay, fine, fine. Just...take a seat and tell me what you want me to do.

_[Nigel does so. Chad then starts using two scarves to tie Nigel to the chair]_

**Nigel:** Okay, you listen up, Chad! Are you listening?!

 **Chad:** Yes.

 **Nigel:** No matter how much I protest, you will _not_ untie me until you kiss me. I am _going_ to sit here and face my conflicting feelings like the awesome operative that I am! [Chad finishes tying him up] Okay, Chad! Do your worst! I’m ready!

_[Chad stares at Nigel for a bit and leans in to kiss him... but then Nigel starts struggling against his scarf restraints, which makes Chad back away out of surprise and confusion]_

**Nigel:** [fearfully] No! Back off, teenager! I...I won’t let you infect me with your teen germs! But that lovely kiss...no! You can’t! But I really want you to...! [tearing up] What do I do...?

 **Chad:** [instantly becoming concerned/heartbroken] Nigel?!

_[Chad quickly kneels down to Nigel’s level]_

**Chad:** [softly] Hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna kiss you if it makes you uncomfortable, okay? Is it alright if I touch you? [Nigel slowly nods] Okay. [wiping Nigel’s tears] You feeling alright?

 **Nigel:** [sniffs] Of course not. My mind’s a mess right now...

 **Chad:** Well, it’s natural to feel that way when you’re under a lot of stress, which you unquestionably are. And I kind of figured that the best way to help decrease your stress levels was to kiss you. I mean, I... kissed you a lot when I was still mentoring you, right?

_[Nigel nods and blushes bashfully]_

**Chad:** You always looked so _happy_ when I kissed you. [bowing his head] But I guess my kisses are just...[sniffs]...making you _unhappy_ now instead...

 **Nigel:** [tearfully smiling] Oh, Chad...you were worried about me this whole time? [Chad slowly nods] Thank you very much. Um, hey, please don’t cry. [shaking his head] No, wait! That wasn’t the right thing to say! [Chad chuckles] What I meant to say was...please cry as much as possible! Crying will help you feel better! [Chad looks up at him] I mean...

 **Chad:** [affectionately patting Nigel’s scalp] Once a dork, always a dork, huh?

 **Nigel:** [turning redder] Oh, stop it.[chuckling]...Um, so, can I have that kiss now...?

 **Chad:** Are you sure, Nigel?

 **Nigel:** Yes. I’m ready for your kiss, old friend.

_[Chad smiles and softly kisses Nigel on the forehead. Nigel’s smile gets bigger]_

**Nigel:** Wow...that felt nice...do that again!

 **Chad:** Sure, Nigel.

_[Chad kisses Nigel on the nose. Nigel starts giggling]_

**Nigel:** Give me more kisses, please!

 **Chad:** Well, since you asked so nicely...

_[Chad peppers Nigel’s scalp with kisses, which makes Nigel blush and laugh gleefully. Chad stops kissing Nigel and unties him from the chair, to Nigel’s disappointment]_

**Nigel:** Hey, why’d you stop kissing me?

 **Chad:** Because you don’t need to be tied up anymore, of course.

 **Nigel:** Oh, right.

_[As soon as Nigel is untied, he instantly gives Chad a hug and kisses him on the cheek. Chad smiles warmly and returns the hug]_

**Nigel:** Thank you, Chad.

 **Chad:** No problem. It’s what I do. [putting his hands on Nigel’s shoulders] So...what do you want to do now?

 **Nigel:** Well, why don’t we go watch--

_[Cut to: the living room. Nigel and Chad are fighting over the remote]_

**Nigel:** Let me watch my shows, you stupid teenager!

 **Chad:** Hey, I spoiled you enough! Let _me_ indulge in _my_ shows!

_[Nigel wrestles the remote out of Chad’s hands, which makes Chad growl and sulk over to the kitchen. Nigel chuckles victoriously as he switches the channel to a Rainbow Monkey cartoon. A few moments later, Nigel feels a tap on his shoulder; he turns around and instantly gets a lollipop shoved into his mouth. He narrows his eyes when he sees Chad’s innocent expression]_

**Chad:** What? I’m jut rewarding you for getting your feelings sorted out. [patting Nigel’s cheek] You’re such a good boy~

 **Nigel:** [clenching his fists] Thank you, Chad.

 **Chad:** I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that. [he sees the cartoon on television] And I’m going to pretend _that_ cartoon doesn’t exist!

 **Nigel:** [taking the lollipop out of his mouth] What’s wrong, Chad? [syrupy] Are those Rainbow Monkies too sweet for you~?

 **Chad:** [turning green and looking away] Yes! Switch to something else, _please_!

 **Nigel:** Fine...

_[Nigel switches to a program that shows kittens happily frolicking around. The sound of the meows makes Chad turn back to the TV]_

**Chad:** Are those--?

 **Nigel:** Yes. Yes, they are.

_[There is a short silence before Chad starts cooing over the kittens alongside Nigel]_

_[Cut to: the living room, an hour later. Nigel and Chad are still cooing over the kittens...until the credits start rolling and a new program starts]_

**Nigel/Chad:** No! Go back to the kittens!

 **Chad:** It’s no good. Just...turn the TV off. [Nigel does so] Now where am I going to find something adorable to coo over? [looking over at Nigel] Hmm...

 **Nigel:** Huh? Why are you looking at me like that?

 **Chad:** [playfully] Oh, it’s nothing...[tickling under Nigel’s chin]... _princess._

 **Nigel:** [offended (?)] Oh my...

 **Chad:** [whispering into Nigel’s ear] You like it when I tease you, don’t you, Nigie~?

 **Nigel:** [chuckling bashfully] Yes, I do...but I have to confess something to _you_ , Chad...

 **Chad:** Oh? Do tell~

 **Nigel:** [smugly] You just called me princess.

 **Chad:** [instantly dropping his playful act] What?

 **Nigel:** By calling me a princess, you just implied that I’m delicate, charming, and beautiful~

 **Chad:** [pushing Nigel away] _**Shut up!**_ That’s not what I meant!

 **Nigel:** I knew it! I _knew_ that you secretly wanted to spoil me!

 **Chad:** [blushing and crossing his arms] No no no! I hate you, Nigel!

 **Nigel:** [syrupy] Aw, look how cute you are, Chad! You’re _blushing_ _~_!

 **Chad:** [turning redder by the second] _Will you just shut up already?!_

 **Nigel:** [singing] Nigel and Chad, sitting in a tree--

 **Chad:** Okay, that does it! [grabbing Nigel by the collar] I’m gonna get my payback, you brat! [gesturing to the scarves on the kitchen table] You see those scarves on that table?

 **Nigel:** [unfazed] Yes, and?

 **Chad:** I’m gonna use those scarves to tie you to a chair and I’m gonna give you so many kisses that you’re gonna turn even redder than Mars!

 **Nigel:** Sounds fun.

 **Chad:**...You’re just trying to goad me into kissing you, are you?

 **Nigel:** Maybe.

 **Chad:** [leaning away from Nigel] Wait, let’s be serious for a moment. Are you _actually_ okay with me kissing you a lot...?

 **Nigel:** [rolling his eyes] Of course I am, you idiot. I’ll be even more accepting if you let _me_ kiss you, too.

 **Chad:** Alright, now that that’s settled...[smirking]...who wants to be kissed first? [playfully] You...or me~?

End

**Author's Note:**

> Relevant links:  
> https://animenutcase.tumblr.com/post/76406750936/numbuh363-you-used-to-be-my-heropng  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoMatterHowMuchIBeg  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FoeYay/WesternAnimation  
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SelfRestraint  
> https://kndforever.tumblr.com/post/133513265067/micaxiii-look-at-this-unpopulat-ship-of-mine  
> 
> 
> (PS: I know you're all thinking the same thing right now:
> 
> Nigel is an absolute *idiot* for using something that just appeared from thin air.  
> But he *is* running on high cortisol levels thanks to his situation and his conflicting feelings.  
> He just wants a hug and a kiss from Chad because, well, love is a human need. He's desperate for oxytocin and he refuses to let his fear of germs get in the way of that need.
> 
> Same goes with Chad, minus the whole 'fear of germs' thing.
> 
> And come on, those scarves look just like any other scarf that was made on Earth, and Nigel has no idea what galactic technology is like. He just thought Infinity teleported those [perfectly normal] scarves from Earth or something. )


End file.
